Rules of Body Dysmorphia

  1. To not seem fat, eat less than everyone around you in public

  2. To not seem fat, squeeze into smaller clothes than your size

  3. To not seem fat, weigh yourself in the morning, before eating and after using the washroom

  4. To not seem fat, only wear dark clothes

  5. To not seem fat, talk about going to the gym often

  6. To not seem fat, never ask a dressing room attendant for a larger size

  7. To not seem fat, walk really quietly as to not make a scene

  8. To not seem fat, skip dessert

  9. To not seem fat, work out in front of the television

  10. To not seem fat, walk extra to get where you are going

  11. To not seem fat, make a point of eating healthy in public

  12. To not seem fat, take all your pictures at a higher angle

  13. To not seem fat, hide your binge eating by doing it alone

  14. To not seem fat, try not to get out of breath when climbing up the stairs

  15. To not seem fat, drink black coffee

  16. To not seem fat, suggest high energy activities like hiking

  17. To not seem fat, order salad

  18. To not seem fat, sit by yourself so you don’t have to squeeze past anyone

  19. To not seem fat, don’t talk about Netflix shows or people will think you are lazy

  20. To not seem fat, talk about how much you love your diet

  21. To not seem fat, cut your hair to frame your face

  22. To not seem fat, do face exercises to get rid of your double chin

  23. To not seem fat, make yourself feel guilty when you miss the gym

  24. To not seem fat, don’t eat anything past 6 pm because you probably won’t burn it off

  25. To not seem fat, don’t take any food offered to you

  26. To not seem fat, wear athletic clothing

  27. To not seem fat, walk fast

  28. To not seem fat, blend in with the crowd

  29. To not seem fat, stop eating

  30. To not seem fat, wear makeup to contour your chipmunk cheeks

  31. To not seem fat, put on fake nails to hide your sausage fingers

  32. To not seem fat, avoid skinny people

  33. To not seem fat, don’t drink alcohol

  34. To not seem fat, don’t go swimming

  35. To not seem fat, go hardcore in workouts to the point where you hurt yourself

  36. To not seem fat, turn down measurements at clothing stores

  37. To not seem fat, pick out the largest size and ask for a smaller one if it doesn’t fit

  38. To not seem fat, don’t ask for seconds

  39. To not seem fat, take smaller portions

  40. To not seem fat, as people if you look fat

  41. To not seem fat, date someone bigger than you

  42. To not seem fat, never get naked

  43. To not seem fat, don’t use condiments

  44. To not seem fat, don’t show off your problem areas

  45. To not seem fat, don’t where stripes

  46. To not seem fat, don’t wear shapeless items

  47. To not seem fat, don’t look in the mirror

  48. To not seem fat, don’t be fat

  49. To not seem fat, don’t eat

  50. To not seem fat…

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